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Monthly Archives: May 2014

LET ME BE!!!!!

SORRY…,i know i love math and everything with numbers…but that doesn’t mean i need formulas on how to leave my life..a girl should act like this,sit like this,,,look like this,walk like this,dress like this,put on make up like this…etc…i hate the pressure…and i just cant take it.i type H and the first thing Google brings is ‘How to lose weight’ who told you am overweight Mr Google????i type T and  the title ‘Tips of getting big hips appears” pops up. No i will NOT!!!!!!! I will not take chick mash,layers or use padded panties to make whoever happy,i REFUSE to try too hard to impress anyone while am suffering with the consequences of eating chick mash to get the so called ‘ PERFECT FIGURE EIGHT’ for your information eight has never been my favorite number and you wont make it one so quit giving me tips i don’t need, my southern hemisphere is just perfect..Why is there a formula for everything??? cant i just live my life the way i feel i should…this pressure is driving people crazy…i see girls walk 3/4 naked in the name of fashion yet its so cold,why cant they just put on  threaded sweaters that are so warm and cozy?why should fashion be the excuse to get flu???why are grown up men dropping pants  that they end up looking like they are dressed in wet pampers???isOOH i bet i used the wrong words they don’t deserve the name men let me call them boys because like i said…SWAG IS FOR BOYS AND CLASS IS FOR MEN.why are this pretty dark girls bleaching themselves that they end up spotted and  looking like hyenas???is being dark a crime???who said lighter people are prettier???well if you think so then that proves you’ve imagesnot met me yet beimagescause am DARK AND LOVELY.must i apply make up to look presentable???sorry but i think it makes one look like a zombie [ for lack of a better word]green eyeshadow,red lipstick,spotted hyena face,pink chicks,fake eyelashes,golden tooth,and a ‘chick mash’ behind hemisphere…ooh no I WILL NOT!!!! i said i will not try to hard to wear high-heels and hurt my back in the process,NO!!!NO!!! am not too short your just the taller than you should be.NO….NOT ME…I WILL NOT…i will not….LET ME BE ME!!!!!

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Posted by on May 30, 2014 in Life Experience, Stories, Uncategorized

 

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EMBARRASSING MOMENTS

Today was one of those days i felt foolish despite being a genius {am not luo so this is not bragging },to start off ill tell you of this long lost  friend of mine,honestly i don’t remember his name actually i never knew it not even for a day..why that facial expression?stop doubting our friendship i said we were friendsimages you should believe we were because not many of you can acquire that title of a friend…mmmh for the sake of easy communication let us ….mmmh let me call him Bob..

Bob to me was a man I’d easily attach the age 47 to,he was so friendly,humble,smartly dressed,though not so handsome i can say he was good-looking because most of the times i saw his amazing heart before i could look at his physical appearance..BUT Bob was blind.images..he could not see…so this is how our friendship began…stori stori..we lived at Kabete by then and everyday at 6;30am i was in the stage waiting for a chopper..did  i just say chopper?i meant a matatu blame it on the cousin of the friend of my neighbor,he is luo.Mr.Bob happened to be there at exactly the same time and one day he requested me,”hello daughter would you please help me cross the road he said facing me so that i could see that his eyes were dis-formed and know that he cant see…sure dad,i said as i slid my hand into his and helped him cross the road..with time this became a daughter-father relationship and ild help him cross the busy road to the stage every single day,whether i had classes or not i’d ensure i go to the stage just to help him cross the road,we became good friend that he started telling me of his life as a blind man..he had never seen in his entire life yet he could describe how he thinks i look just by my speaking to me,he could tell what gender a person is and the approximate age of the person just by him talking on touching his hand…i found this amazing…Bob was quite an amazing person.i explained to him how he looks,how the sun looks…and our friendship blossomed.He told me of his family he was married to a blind lady but they had three amazing kids all who could see well but they were all out of the country for their studies and that is why Bob did not have anyone else to help him cross the road,he happened to work in an insurance company and from my perspective i think he was the kind of employee an employer would never like to lose because he was always in job on time.But Mwihoko happened..we relocated to Mwihoko and my frienship with Mr. Bob took another turn..i hope he got another person to help him cross the road daily…THE END

So back to my bad day,,today as i was crossing the road opposite my school i spotted a man with a stick on his hand..he was tapping it on the ground as though he could not see,he had dark shades he reminded me of Mr Bob  and i approached him and slid my hands on his thinking he was blind and i walked him across the road waving to cars to slow down…When we got to the other side of the road the guy removed his shades and hurled insults at me for thinking he was blind…i tried to speak up but my voice kept sinking in my voicebox…’NOT EVERYBODY WITH DARK SHADES AND A WALKING STICK IS BLIND DUMMY THIS IS CALLED SWAG!!!!!images‘ he shouted at me and never in my entire life have i felt this embarrased….ild give his eyes to Mr Bob if i could…..NKT!!!!!!NKTEST!!!!!!!!

 
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Posted by on May 29, 2014 in Stories, Uncategorized

 

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IF I WAS A BOY

If i was a boy

even just for a day….iild surely never do this…

1. Wake up in the morning,look at my bed and think it looks prettier unmadeimages

2. Run to the kitchen and ask for breakfast which in this case one prepared by a girl

3. Make a fuss of how little of milk it has,or how i hate conc tea leaves  or how i prefer coffee to this cup of tea

4. Shout at her for bringing a big spoon instead of a tea spoon

5. Smell at myself and think…’ooh no need for a shower’

6.Leave the cup and breadcrumbsimages on the table not caring who will wipe

7Rush out to ride my bike just behind an overloaded lorry

8.Harass pretty girls to give you their numbers

9.Use boring pick up lines.

10.Love being a boy

But all in all am sooooooo happy i am a girl….no offense

 
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Posted by on May 27, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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An Open Cover Letter to the Person Possibly Reading My Job Application

An Open Cover Letter to the Person Possibly Reading My Job Application

Leftovers from Friday

To whom it may concern,

Thanks for taking the time to read this letter!

I assure you, at least in terms of breaking up the monotony that is hiring a new employee, it’s the best decision you’ve made today.

 I’m sure you’ve received dozens like it, promising exciting job-applicable traits like “Team-Player!” and “Hard-Working” and “Dedicated” and “Passionate!” I’m sure all of them have various examples of such traits like “That one time I saved a several hundred thousand dollar deal from falling through the cracks just because I spell-checked every word in a 200-page memo (showcasing their dedication, attention-to-detail, meticulousness, potential brilliance)” or “That other time I was involved in landing an account that you may know of by the name of HUGE TECH COMPANY (demonstrating their perseverance, persuasion, competitiveness).” I’m sure they are well-spoken individuals, promising longevity, increased revenue, innovative ground-breaking ideas, extensive connections and above all, a personality…

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Posted by on May 22, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

THE DREAM

Call me a dreamer and i wont ask you why ….teren teren
i was sitted in what looked like a hall,ooh not a dining hall for the sake of my friend who thinks only of food,this dream has nothing to do with food but don’t you mind I’ll take you out for lunch in a jiffy at mama mboga’s kiosk where you can eat to your full without making me go broke of all my Kenyan dollars…[where was i before food came in?]ooh i was dressed in a long,fancy,yellow Lupita dresimagess[order of adjectives wasn’t my favorite topics],’Where is he i asked myself as i moved my eyes through the crowd,i thought he’ll be the first to get here…ooh thanks be to God i said as i smiled at the sight of a guy in a shirt that resembled one of his many going through the door.finally he is here i thought as a wink escaped my large kolokolo eyes….ooh did he just shave those funny styles rural to urban guys shave?I asked as he came closer…then ooh the guy noticed my glare and smiled at me parading his anti-teeth mouth that resembled a vacant house in the slums…ooh this cant be him unless he tried doing what Mututho hates most and lost all his teeth in the process…the more he came closer the surer i was it was not him….my disappointment level rose and i could feel all my blood circulating in my medullaoblangata [just so you know i dint drop biology] ..he will not come,further more am getting the present not him..of course he doesn’t care…i thought…ooh No he surely does..perhaps his mean boss denied him an off…but at least he could call..ooh maybe his phone went off..but av just called and its going through just that he ain’t picking…maybe he is in a meeting..people cant answer phones in a meeting can they???but he has ‘am in a meeting’ template what is its use then….all this thoughts bombarded my now empty mind in a attempt to confuse me….SHARON NJOKI…ooh that sounds like my name…SHARON NJOKI…He called again in a voice that resembles that of a bull dog…i stood up and confidently ‘human-walked'[cat walk is out of my league,i don’t do fur] to the podium..cant he just come in before i get my present oh God,that will make me happier than an Oscar award!images…S.K Macharia gave me the award[can’t remember what it was] and after a lot of flatters I’d like this guy MIA[Missing In Action.. for the sake of meru guys who could think it means Miraa In Africa] to hear,he asked me to give some advice to the upcoming whatever it was…i doubt i said any thing sensible but i was glad i got a standing ovation,as i walked down the aisle….ooh not aisle…the stairs i mean some soft song was playing on the speakers and the projector went on…this was so rare in such occasions…and all a sudden the guy i had been waiting for all this time was walking up to me with a bouquet of white rosesimages…i mean white not like your teeth but like the snow…and the projector was showing some words…before i could even comprehend what it read girls were screaming and he looked into my eyes and said………..WAKE UP!aint you already late for school,it was mum pulling my nose…

 
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Posted by on May 16, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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A LETTER TO THE ALMIGHTY

Dear Lordimages
Thou has been my strength in weakness,my answer to every question,joy when am sad,when life brings sorrow uv always made me glad,you are who I cling to when theres nothing left to grasp…sometimes the way gets rough and I get so weary,I am burdened down with tears but though always brings me peace in that stormy weather and dry every tear with a song and a smile…
And on this day 2/5/2014 I wanna thank you for helping me turn 20years,and my prayer Lord is to be more like you.i want to do thy will,take me and break me,mould and make me till people nolonger see me but you in me…this is my prayer…
Yours in love
sharon

 
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Posted by on May 1, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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