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THE SEVEN SECRETS TO HIM

13 Jun

Cuppiecake,here i am.I know you didn’t expect to see this here;but now that you went scrolling ;you’ve hit a goldmine.I’m doing this ages before i say “I DO’ i love you, and you are snooping because you love me too and ooh you care.Like every human being i have expectations,do you?I dreamt of prince charming just like any other girl who read Romio and Juliet.Is this getting weird?You’re my prince charming or the closest i could ever get to that.

Before you say or said[depending on when you are reading this]i do…

if you are reading this piece right now before we are together then put a smile on your face because i am in the process of giving you clues;but if we are together please stop reading before you realize you did everything wrong.I love you anyway ;don’t get ulcers,u cannot redo any of this.

1.Proposal;who oimagesn earth proposes while standing?are you singing the national anthem?seated?Ive had enough lectures in campus.Go on one knee like a modest 21st century gentleman.Don’t make it two knees please,remember you are not praying.ooh did i forget to tell you,”honeyplumb i hate red flowers please consider white ones.Mmmmh and don’t propose via text i’l not see it,my S5 chooses what message to deliver and which ones to put in the spam.

2.House;I love houses,i really do my love,BUT I’d like to be in the plan,landscape,location,everywhere from design to the physical attributes.Please wait for me ‘tujenge na wewe’ i know you want to be independent,stable and settled before we get married,but honey there are banks where you can put the money for the house and wait and we can build it together right after our honeymoon.I’d be glad to top it up.Yaahh we both know i love colors but i don’t want my house to have green seats,red carpet,yellow curtains and blue walls…colors achia rainbow[no offense naturally guys are color blind]

3.My nature;I know am stubborn…not annoyingly stubborn but lovingly stubborn[don’t blame me i take after both my parents],so please be ready for some drama like pretending am dead asleep on the coach so that you can carry me to bed,and when we get to bed i laugh at you for being so sweet,or hiding the keys to the wardrobe when i don’t want you to goimagesimages to job…I can do that and many more so please be ready for me.You have to have a big heart to stand all my faded jokes.[don’t say you were not told]

4.Pregnant;Champ,honestly i love kids and i really want to be pregnant,to feel my dozen kids kicking in my belly and to get an opportunity to disturb you a little[it gives me joy]…i have it all well planned,how ill call your  office mobile when i miss you and whine like the kid is coming the next second,and no doubt you’ll come home hurriedly only to find me at the door holding a teddy bear on my hands and tell you ‘honey we just got a baby teddy,what do we call her?’i hope you wont get angry its not my fault that i missed you?is it? and as a matter of fact, dint i just ensure you got a free day off?ooh and let me tell you,ill be having lots of weird cravings in the night and wake you up to tell you how bad am craving for ‘mutura’ and how much i should eat it immediately…hehe…this is gonna be so fun.

5.Kids;Prince charimagesming,I’d like to stay home and raise my kids myself to take videos of how they cry or laugh,to hear them pronounce their first words,to take pictures of their toes and nails,to comb their hair and dress them up,to sew clothes for them and teach them how to pray,to blog all day long of how adorable my kids are..I want to be there every minute of their lives,so please honey lets work hard before we have kids because i plan to quit my job as soon as my first kid is born and resume only when  they join school,please please do not deny me this satisfaction

6.Hobbies;I just pray that you don’t watch football because am not ready to share you with a game and as a matter of fact i hope we will not have a T.V in our house for the sake of ensuring our kids have better hobbies than watching football or the so called soap operas, id rather they have hobbies like reading,drawing and playing violinimages.No offense to footballers but i have a comprehensive definition of football [twenty two idle men chasing dead skin] but considering the footballers earn millions from the game i changed my definition to talk about the fans [a bunch of idle people watching people make money while they get broke]..that’s just my opinion whats up with that facial expression?

7.The little things;Cherry ill show interest to all that you do no matter how boring it will be,if you enjoy playing PS ill even cheer you on so please do the same,show intrest in things i do,read mimagesy blog,watch me play guitar,be there to celebrate my achievements and offer a shoulder to cry on when i fail.Pray with me when i pray,surprise me with breakfast in bed,flowers in my office[not only on valentines],open the door for me and NEVER EVER forget my birthday or our anniversary.Honestly i don’t value the big things as much as the little small things,be sure I’ll do much more for you.

 

PS;i hope you consider these before asking whether I’ll marry you ,and if i already said yes i hope you stopped when i asked you to,and if not please consider point number 7

 

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11 responses to “THE SEVEN SECRETS TO HIM

  1. Ibrahim Ksternbelt

    June 16, 2014 at 5:35 am

    I must say I love this piece of advice…. am sure there’s a ‘Lucky Prince Charming’ to have had this before the D’day!

     
  2. gathonimware

    June 17, 2014 at 1:38 pm

    Keep going girl. You can really express yourself eh! 😀

     
    • shazyireri

      June 18, 2014 at 6:44 am

      Thanks alot Gathoni,am humbled and impressed by your visit to my blog.

       
  3. Ken

    June 24, 2014 at 9:15 am

    Cool Stuff.
    This post is a must read to any fella who has is eyes on you.

     
  4. lweya

    July 1, 2014 at 6:21 pm

    haha, so you’ve said seven secrets, then they’re all just here public on the blog, irony :D.

     
    • shazyireri

      July 3, 2014 at 6:55 am

      irony and sarcasm is what makes us writers hehe

       
      • lweya

        July 3, 2014 at 8:57 am

        oh yeah,right!!

         
  5. Val

    July 9, 2014 at 2:07 pm

    My first step on this blog and am like #wherehave_Ibeen Nice stuff dearie

     
    • shazyireri

      July 10, 2014 at 5:26 am

      thanks a lot Val….am soo happy you like it

       

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