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BURDENS OF MY HEART

You mentioned it every second “your beautiful” you said but the only way you knew how to touch me was with your fist… blows ,kicks and slaps was your mother tongue, the only language you knew how to use to communicate. I remember how it started, you came in and started throwing things on the floor, I had scrubbed all morning but I did not complain I came to give you a hug just in case it was one of those days your boss made you feel worthless but what met me was a plate you threw right on my face, I gave an excuse when friends asked I said I hit the wall when we were getting intimate, I blamed myself for meddling when I should have given you space. You apologized and said it was just an emotional upheaval but before I knew it, it became a routine, you caressed me with kicks, tasted me with painful bites, you brought me gifts of slaps wrapped up in kicks…All this times I blamed myself for all of your mistakes. I painted all your evil with big expensive words till they seemed like angels straight from heaven, I said you have anger control issues when in real sense you were a cruel, violent man who used abuse to have power and control over me, you were a coward for lack of a better word. You belted me so hard that I lost partial hearing in one ear, you raped me and all this while I endured thinking you will change, I still loved you or so I thought but yesterday what you did was unforgivable you hit my stomach and I lost the only reason I was living, my baby, how can I forgive you? I hate the day I met you with a passion, and my prayer is that I never set my eyes on you…BUT UNTIL THEN THIS IS THE BURDEN OF MY HEART

 
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Posted by on July 13, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

ANGEL BY MY SIDE

I can’t say that everything is ok,because tears are visible in my eyes,i don’t need you to promise to take my pain away because that is close to impossible ,but i need to know you will not stop trying. All i need is an angel by my side,one to get me through the night that is so dark and dreary,my strength when am weak,my answer to my prayer,my complement,one who understands that its possible to run out of faith and helps me to keep believing,my perfect harmony…one when i say the Grace,says Amen…thats what i need.

 
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Posted by on June 19, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

Check out the Link

So am reading this blog of my namesake,and am swallowing sips of saliva inlike manner that my dad sips his hibiscus tea,and am thinking…isorait….the post is titled my engagement story…and the site is http://www.thisisess.com. Ladies be warned,not every guy is Lonini and guys mmmmh its time to up your game,learn alittle from the gentleman,bt like they say “scratch where you can reach” you can do it simple but fantastic,till then enjoy the read

 
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Posted by on May 5, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

THANK YOU GOD FOR ANOTHER YEAR.

I thank you God, for making me see another
year; thanks for the gift of life; I’m eternally
grateful for all the blessings that you have
given me that makes me appreciate a good
life, for the struggles you casted on me
which made me stronger and helped me
realized the ideas of life’s bitter sweet reality
and most of all for the love which is
supported by guidance and protection which
he unconditionally gives through my ever
beloved family and friends.
Thank you for all the experience of this past
year; for times of success which will always
be happy memories, for times of failure which
reminded me of my own weakness and of my
need for you, for times of joy when the sun
was shining, for times of sadness which
drove me to you.
Forgive me for the hours I wasted, for the
chances I failed to take, for the opportunities
I missed this past year. Help me in the days
ahead to make this the best year yet, and
through it to bring good credit to myself,
happiness and pride to my loved ones,
joy to me but most of all glory to YOU.
May my life, from now on, be a sign of my
gratefulness. Thank you for guiding me, for
commanding every direction that I take in my
life. I also want to thank you for bringing in
and taking out all whom you felt needed to
come through my life, because everyone has
a season. I want to thank you for all that you
have done and all that you continue to do for
me, You brought love, hope and great
changes into my life. You wrap me and all
that is me in your hands, love, protection
and provided in every way that is possible
and beyond.
God all I can say is thank you so much for
blessing me indeed, without you I am
nothing but with you I have everything I’ll
ever need. I love you lord father God, THANK
YOU. Lord, I pray You make me a better
person as I continue to add more years on
this terrestrial earth; I ask You for faith to
see You in everything and everybody; hope,
that I may not dismay; and charity to love
You and others more each day; and to let
You be loved among those around me.
Strengthen and provide for me so that I’ll be
able to give more to the needy. There are
many in this world that have never had, or
have lost a physical or mental gift that I so
easily take for granted.
The blind, the deaf, the mute, the lame and
the mentally ill are with us. Grant that I may
always know that I must give of myself to
ease their trials and burdens. May I always
remember their needs and be just and
generous to them. Give me patience and
humility, detachment and generosity; give me
Lord what is good for me which You alone
know, for I do not know what is good for me
I do not dare to ask. That my heart may be
alert, my ears be attentive, my hands and
mind active, and that I always may be ready
to do Your Holy Will with Your grace. Lord!
Pour out Your grace and blessings upon all
me, my beloved ones.
Years spent so far in this world have been so
amazing in my life. I’ve smiled, I’ve laughed,
I’ve screamed, I’ve cried, I’ve been down, I’ve
been up and above all I’m grateful to God
almighty . He deserves nothing but praise,
praise and continuous praise. I’m more than
happy for the blessings, mercies and favours
he’s bestowed on me and my family over the
years. He might not have given me all that I
wanted, but at least He sent all that I
needed, and that what matters most to me
now. I’ve been and will continue to share my
joy with those who are less fortunate and
share my happiness with those who need
encouragement, share my laughter with
those who have not heard any in such a long
time, share my tears with those who have
forgotten how to cry, share my faith and
hope to those who have none.
I thank God for giving Me another Year to be
Productive and Proactive, to share my life
and be a blessing to other people. It’s
another year to dream, to live, to enjoy, to
share, to celebrate, and to execute whatever
left unexecuted in my Life. I pray that you
always guide Me and help Me be better
person every day in other to be more
Focused in Life and be more Dedicated you.i also pray that you help me become a better Christian, a better daughter,a better sister,a better best friend,a better friend,Lord just make me better.
i love you sooo much

 
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Posted by on May 2, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

THE GUITAR RAIN OF MY HEART

I stared outside as each drop of rain hit my window and i could feel the drain inside, inside my heart…it was painful yet so beautiful the way each drop hit the ground and bounced back but my heart was a soft rock that crushed each time it fell on a harder rock…the rain was beautiful and so was it…love…it moved the soil to one spot in a glorious rythm as i coud see the leaves dancing with every rain drop,my heart danced to…it danced to every love song that played,and so i take my guitar, but I have waited for the dust to fall on my guitar,my precious guitar,my musicaynnah so I could write your name on the dust…i figured writting your name in the mist on my window would be the coldest thing I could do to you but my heart is still so warm,warm with love,this love that speaks through tears caressing my cheeks.So with shaky little fingers i scribble down your name on my guitar,spelling each letter …And so i hold her so close next to my chest,next to my heart,and play to the tune of my heart beat,i hold the second string on the first fret with my index finger,fourth string second fret with my middle finger and finally the fifth string,third fret with my ring finger,thats key C,my heart beats at key C…,C for the care,the conscern,the charisma,the colour of my heart…black…and so i press down each string with all my strength,i strum up and down in a rhythmic succession,i play painful tunes,melodies of love,i transpose with each tear,each semi- tone becomes a tone,with every change of pitch of my heart…and my fingers bleed,and so does my heart…and the rain stops and i can now see the rainbow.

 
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Posted by on March 3, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

THE LOVE LANGUAGE

Of the countless ways we can show love to one another, five key categories, or five love languages, proved to be universal and comprehensive—everyone has atleast one,i have two…here you go.
1.Words of affirmation
If this is your primary love language like me 🙂 Words mean alot how they are said, when they are said and said by who. Words can crush or uplift someone especially if that person falls under this category. Words include I love you, I miss you, thank you, sorry, thanks and more. So how do you apply this love language? first reflect and see if you fall under this category. If you do, tell your spouse and share what you like and dont like to be told,and if your spouse’s primary love language is words of affirmation, your spoken praise and appreciation will fall like rain on parched soil. Before long, you will see new life sprouting in your marriage as your spouse responds to your words of love.
2.Receiving Gifts
In every society throughout human
history, gift giving has been perceived as an expression of love. Giving gifts is
universal, because there is something
inside the human psyche that says if you love someone, you will give to him or her. Now men have a misconception about this love language, they think every woman loves gifts. Well not all love gifts. But a person who falls under this category loves to be showered with gifts, loves surprises and more,and this love launguage is also in men.
3. Quality Time
Now a person who falls under this category loves been given undivided attention. And when I mean undivided attention i mean no facebook, no whatsapp, no magazine, no newspaper, switch off or mute the TV and listen to that person keenly. You dont even have to respond just listen. Other examples include going to see a movie together, going for a long romantic walk, coffee date, being home on time and more. If your spouse’s love language is quality
time, giving him or her your undivided
attention is one of the best ways you can show your love.Ooops am guilty of having this as my second language of love.
4. Acts of service
In this love language actions speak louder than words, If acts of service is your spouse’s primary love language, nothing will speak more deeply to him or her emotionally than simple acts of service, Example, cook for them their favourite meal, massage them, help them with house chores and much more.
5.Physical touch
In marriage, the love language of
physical touch includes everything from
putting a hand on your mate’s shoulder
as you walk by, touching his or her leg
as you’re driving together, and holding
hands while you’re walking to kissing,
embracing and sexual intercourse.
If physical touch is your spouse’s
primary love language, nothing
communicates love more clearly than
for you to take the initiative to reach
out and touch your mate.

Now you know!!which are you?

 
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Posted by on February 28, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

ME IN A NUTSHELL

People say am so complex to understand,some think am weird,some think am sweet…i actually think am real.For the sake of a fun who asked me to do a piece about myself,here you go,just some little things you might not know about me.
1.i love Kids,they give me so much joy and satisfaction,if God allows ild want a dozen of them.
2.i love cars,big cars,so so much to an extend i cant help stare at such in town.my favorite as per now is Discovery 4.
3.i dislike cats and dogs and the dislike is mutual.
4.i love colours and prints, i can wear pink,green, red and yellow and still look awesome.
5.Am totally awful in directions,i can hardly remember the spelling of the word compass.
6.I dont have so many friends of my age,its either they are older or kids,but the ones i have are real treasures.
7.I don’t believe in love at first sight…period!!
8.I dislike red roses they are too mainstream ,white will do.
9.Cartoons and comedy don’t make me laugh,i find them lame…but that doesn’t mean i don’t have a sense of humour,i just laugh at things people find nothing funny about.
10.Am not moved by big things people struggle to do for me,but the small little things that people think don’t count.
11.i love horses and would want to own a ranch some day.
12.Am a number person but quite artistic,music,spoken word and poetry are my addictions.
13.i am quite a dreamer but with time av learnt to make a clear cut between fantasy and reality,optimism and pessimism are words that have never been applicable to me.
14.i love cooking but dislike eating(to tiring for my jaws) unless its cake ofcourse.
15.i do not have a temperament,i have characters across the board bt i lie mostly between sanguine and choleric.

 
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Posted by on February 28, 2015 in Uncategorized