Its Tuesday, (read Rudisha mapenzi nyumbani Tuesday) ,there is something about Tuesday’s that makes me feel and think about love things.So today i hope we can try see how to be better lovers,more lovable and ofcos happier, isn’t being happy in everyone’s wish list?i want us to think about Communication,its really a long word that has alot of influence in our lives.Communication is the act of passing information from one person to another,it may be verbal where you talk to a person or non verbal where you smile,wink etc,i was a terribly poor communicator (still trying to perfect) due to my over independent nature and this would lead me in loggerheads with the people i love or the people who love me,i would go somewhere and lack to communicate and they would be worried sick what has happened to me,this went on for a while till i met someone who taught me the importance of communication so i will share some basic communication principles that i hope will help each one of you single or double(read married) to be better individuals
1: The Principle of First Response
The course of a conflict is not determined by the person who initiates, but by the person who responds.As the respondent you can actually decide whether to be calm and solve the issue well or be rude and bring about a fight. As Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” So this week i hope we can try to be gentle and wise in our response be it to our family members,our partners,colleagues, schoolmates or buddies
2.The Principle of Proper Timing:
The success of a conversation can be
maximized if the timing of the
conversation is carefully chosen.i used to wait till my dad is ready to leave the house before i actually tell him i need something ,he would mostly forget about it or he would snob and leave,this would hurt me alot since i didn’t understand why he would snob me or forget some important things,but one day he called me and told me he usually gives us all his time before he leaves for work and immediately after work yet i only tell him of things when he is almost approaching the gate,i then realised that for communication to be effective it has to be timely. Lets all know what timing is best to communicate with the people we love before actually communicating.
3.The Principle of Physical Touch:
It is difficult to sin against someone while you are tenderly touching him or her.I observed that when communicating with someone when touching them and our conversation begins to drift toward conflict, we stopped touching. I found what I’m certain you’ll find: It is very difficult to fight with someone you are tenderly touching. So, we had a choice at that point: to stop fighting
so we could keep touching or to stop
touching so we could keep fighting.Most often than not we would not land into fighting. These simple gentle touches are deterrents from arguing,try them and tell me if they worked for you.
4.The Principle of Mirroring:
Understanding can be enhanced if we
measure it often throughout a
conversation. Have you ever meant one thing by what you said but the person you were talking to heard something else? It can make for very frustrating communication. If you’re not sure if the person your talking to is getting what
you’re talking about, check to see if you
hear this phrase a lot: “What do you mean by that?”I had this really good friend who never got what i meant,he would negate all my statements for example i say ‘how far are you?’ and he understands’ why are you ever late?’ and start defending himself, am not a fun of defense or excuses and therefore an argument would arise. Mirroring can help you test whether you are hearing your partner properly. Once your partner makes a point … repeat it to him or her. Say something like this: “So, what I hear you saying is …” or, “Are you saying … ?” Then, in your own words, tell him or her what you understand to have been said. Then, the most important part of mirroring comes-You must allow your
Partner to either affirm or correct what
you’ve said.it worked for me,try it friends.
5.Principle of Prayer-i can only put this by quoting what evangelist R.A. Torrey said on prayer:
“The reason why many fail in battle is because they wait until the hour of battle. The reason why others succeed is because they have gained their victory on their knees long before the battle came …Anticipate your battles; fight them on your knees before temptation
comes, and you will always have victory
This said and done i place the ball in your court,its upto you to Rudisha Mapenzi nyumbani